A Senshi's Best Friend
by Hentai Hater
Summary: In chapter 430 Papa toad expected his transportation jutsu to summon them to Konoha, not Tokyo: home of the Sailor Senshi.


**Chapter One**

This isn't Konoha is it?

* * *

"Guys, I think we took a wrong turn." Naruto tried to find one thing that looked like Konoha. "I don't recall Konoha having buildings like that…or that…or…what the heck is that?"

The toad boss, Gama-bunta, looked around, and scowled. "Normally I wouldn't agree with the Gaki, but for once I think he's right. Where are we?" He looked at the elder toad, who turned away. "Papa toad, why are you not looking at me?"

"Er, well…" The old man trailed off. He started scratching his head, then looked at Mama toad. "Sweety, can you explain to our son and our summoner what our situation is?"

Mama toad frowned. "No, I really don't ." She looked at him pointedly. "You do it."

"No, please, I insist."

"That wasn't a suggestion." She said testily. The lady looked at the hunched over old toad carefully. "Do go on."

The old toad sighed. He looked at Uzumaki Naruto, who was staring at everything with wonder. "Er, Naruto. I think we summoned ourselves into…another place, that isn't Konoha."

Naruto stopped, scowled and looked at the two. He raised his eyebrows. "Old man, how far are we talkin'?"

"Far, very far indeed." The old man nodded sagely. "In fact, I am not sure where we are."

Naruto looked at the giant Toad Boss, the Toad Boss looked at him. They stared at one another for a few seconds before shouting. "WHHAATT!"

"Calm down, you two!" The toad said. "This has happened before." He was lying of course. "We just have to store enough chakra to get back."

"How long will that take?" This was said by a giant toad carrying a sword on his back. Two even. "No offence Ma n' Pa, but when you say this could take a while, we are talking decades."

No one said anything. There was absolute silence. Then Naruto pulled off his headband and roared. "I don't believe this!"

"Relax, Naruto!" The lady said.

He wouldn't relax, he went hysterical. "You relax! Konoha's about to be destroyed, and we are here in…er, guys is it just me or is there people in this city. A lot of people."

The toads paused and looked around them. Everyone on the ground level was looking at them in absolute horror. Many even took their children as far as possible, and an old man was screaming "Godzilla" at the top of his lungs.

"Papa toad knows what he's doing, Naruto. I am sure wherever we are, these people aren't hostile," the femtoad said carefully. She didn't sound too convinced.

Naruto didn't look appeased.. "Then why are so many of them shaking?"

"Maybe they're just happy to see us?" Papa toad suggested.

"That old lady to your right is breaking her hip trying to get away from us," Naruto deadpanned. He shook his head. "Guys, we should probably get out of here."

"Hold on just one minute, young man." The lady toad frowned. "I am sure if we talk to the civilians here, we can come up with a reasonable solution to this conflict."

Something hit the Toad Boss on the leg. "Er, I think something shot me." He lifted his foot and picked out a tiny black object. "What's that?"

"Looks like a Harpoon, Bunta," Naruto said. He turned towards a large body of water, next to the city. "Looks like the fishermen are getting ready to nail you."

"Do you still think we can come to a peaceful solution now?" A red toad with a giant rod on his hand said. "Papa, we should probably leave."

The old man frowned. "I still say we can talk to the civil-,"

"Put your hands up! We have you surrounded. I repeat, we have you surrounded!" Some kind of flying abomination started approaching the giant toads.

Naruto sighed. "We're outta here." He looked up to the sky, frowned, and started forming the seals for the Kage Bunshin. "Kage Bunshin Jutsu."

Within minutes the entire city district was surrounded by Naruto clones. The toads took this as a chance to escape. All of them jumped into the harbor.

About a minute later Naruto started wondering a very important question. "Can toads swim?"

* * *

Standing on a building previously next to the giant toads, a man wearing a black tuxedo, cape, tophat, and a cane, sighed. "And we just destroyed Queen Beryl too." Transforming back into his civilian garb Mamaru Chiba, AKA Tuxedo Mask, got ready to take the elevator.

"Well, at least it isn't Youma. How hard can it be to destroy a bunch of giant frogs?"

* * *

"In other news giant toads have been spotted in…"

Usagi Tsukino, AKA Sailor Moon, dropped her bowl of cereal. "Moommmm! I'm going out for a bit, don't wait for me!"

She ran to her room, put on some clothes, captured Luna in her arms (much to the cat's annoyance), and got ready to head out to the Hirakawa Shrine. "Usagi, what are you doing! I'm still asleep dear girl!"

"No time, Luna!" the blond yelled. "The Dark Kingdom is back!"

"What are you talking about?" the cat asked, yawning. "We just destroyed Queen Beryl.

"The news, Luna! The news! Giant Youma are attacking the city!"

"Giant Youma, Usagi? Really?" The cat asked, again. She didn't look convinced. "You did get sleep last night didn't you? Not just playing those Sailor V games."

"Well, um, er…Let's not talk about that!" She pushed Luna into her backpack and ran like her life depended on it. In some strange way, it did. After all, if Youma were back that meant Queen Beryl might be as well.

Fortunately for Usagi she didn't trip, lose track, or get lost on the way to the shrine. At some point she realized that she should have called someone to make sure there was even anyone there. Fortunately Luna, her cat, had a feeling that more than one of her friends knew about the situation at hand. After all, if Usagi heard the news, there would be no way that Ami, or Minako to not have gotten it too. Makoto she wasn't so sure, and Rei spent more time cleaning up the Shrine than watching TV. But two out of four wasn't bad.

Usagi slammed into Rei's dining room within the shrine quarters. "Girls, you won't believe what I saw toda-"

"We know, Usagi. Mamoru already told us." This was said by a thin girl with long dark hair, purple eyes, wearing a white miko uniform. "We've been trying to contact you for hours, but your mom said you were asleep."

"Sailor V," mumbled Luna from her crammed position in the bag. "Curse that girl and her dratted video games!"

"Hey," said a tall blond wearing a standard fuku school uniform. "I resent that!"

'Cough. Cough.' A girl with short blue hair interrupted. "I think we should get back to the topic on hand, please. Before this turns out to be those meetings."

"You mean our regular meetings," a girl with a brown ponytail answered. She looked at Mamoru Chiba leaning against the wall. "And what were you doing standing on a building wearing your Tuxedo Mask suit?"

The man shrugged. "I wanted to get a better view. Someone screamed Godzilla." Seeing everyone flinch he corrected himself. "No, don't worry it was just giant toads…with swords."

The occupants in the room blinked, until Usagi pointed her finger at Mamoru. "Mamoru weren't you supposed to be at school today."

The man smiled grimly. "Usagi, the amount of times I skip my medical classes to fight the forces of evil…I am not sure how long they'll keep me there."

Mizuno Ami, the blue haired girl interrupted. "Well, you are planning to be a doctor, you need to atte-"

"Can we please get back on topic," Hino Rei, the miko, said. "Some of us have to get to work."

"You work here!" Usagi shouted.

"Yes. But, not in my dining room!"

"Ladies, please. Can we not do this today? We've got giant frogs roaming Tokyo harbor." Seeing that everyone's attention was on him Mamoru continued. "Does anyone have a plan?" Seeing Usagi's blank face, he sighed. "On how to deal with this new enemy?"

Silence met this statement until Ami thumped herself on the head. "Aquatic reports, we should check them." Seeing confused looks on everyone, aside from Mamoru's face, she continued. "Any interruption from the normal damn, harbor, or sewer functions can tell us which locations they might occupy."

The blank looks remained. She sighed. "I'll find them, if they leave a trail, no promises." Tuxedo Mask nodded, and was about to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Usagi asked, looking sad. "You just got here."

"I've been here for the past three hours." He looked at Rei. "Thanks for lunch."

Rei blushed. "No problem." Seeing Usagi's fuming glare she corrected herself. "I mean, go bring your own food next time!"

The caped crusader nodded knowingly and made his exit.

"Well, now that's out of the way. What do we do about these monsters?" Makoto asked.

"What do you think?" Minako said, nodding sagely. "We take care of them like every other enemy so far, with the power of love and justice."

Ami frowned. "Yes, but the Youma have never been this big before."

"Or this bold," Rei added. "Have you seen that red toad? With the sword? That thing was bigger than a skyscraper."

The girls shivered. "Well…I am sure we can think of something." Ami immediately received questioning looks from the other girls. "I mean, I will think of something." Seeing their satisfied faces she turned back to Usagi."Usagi, where is Chibi-Usa? Isn't she always with you?"

The teens looked surprised. They looked at each other questioningly. "Yeah, dango ball head, weren't you supposed to pick her up or something?" Rei smirked at Usagi's horrified face. "Bet the kid is still in the park waiting for big sis to get there."

Usagi screeched. "No! I can't believe this! I am so late." She looked at the clock on Rei's dining room. "Rei, can you get gramps to drive me there?"

"Sure," she said, smirking. "But he'll probably try to feel you up on our way there."

* * *

"Gojirraaa!" A team of fisherman abandoned their ship as three giant toads made surface. "Get the escape boats! They are after the ship. Evacuate, evacuate! Wait! No! Don't just stand there men! Oh, never mind! We have no time! Every man for themself."

Naruto watched bitterly as the people in the fishing vessel left in minutes. Gamabunta reached out his tongue and grasped onto a flagpole. Naruto ran down the length of this tongue and landed on the ship. "Finally!" He coughed. "I almost drowned! Don't you guys have any special jutsu to help a Ninja breath under water?"

"We do, actually," Papa toad said. "But I didn't see how that would help you against Akatsuki."

"Good point," Naruto admitted. "So we're in the middle of the ocean in...I guess you have no idea, do you?"

"Do you?" Mama toad asked.

"No, but I ain't the one who got us into this situation!" Naruto yelled. Seeing the scared face of Papa and Mama toad he calmed down. He took a deep breath, looked left and right, then sighed again. "Sorry, it's been a bad day."

"You're telling me," Gamabunta mumbled. Though with his size, everyone in the immediate area heard him. "We're in a place nowhere near the elemental nations."

"How do you figure that?" Gamaken the toad asked. "The people speak the same language."

Gamabunta looked at Gamaken as if he were stupid, which, in reality, was true. "Since when did the ocean have hundreds of metallic ruins in them? You know how rare metals are in the elemental nations, don't you?"

Gamaken looked at him blankly. "Ribbit?"

Gamabunta growled and hit him on the back of his head. He turned back to Naruto. "So Gaki, what do we do now?"

"Why are you asking me?" Naruto looked startled. "I'm no leader!"

"Well, I ain't putting Papa in charge of this." He looked at the old toad with no small amount of venom. "Plus, you're the only human here. You're probably going to have to talk for us. These people look like they've never seen a giant toad before."

"No way!" Naruto exclaimed. "That's weird, isn't it?"

"My point, exactly Gaki, what kind of poor souls never got the chance to see us toads," the giant said. He shook his head. "Jiraiya-baka would roll in his grave if he saw the way those people looked at us."

Naruto flinched. "You know, he just died. It still kinda hurts."

"Tough," the boss said, shrugging. "You didn't see me crying when your dad died."

"Wait! You knew my dad?" Naruto asked. "Who is he?"

Gamabunta closed his mouth and looked away. "He was a plumber." Seeing Naruto's dejected look he smirked. "Anyway about our little problem?"

"Oh, right." Naruto scratched his chin. "Well, first we gotta have a place to live."

"A place without people in it," Mama toad suggested. "I'd like to sleep at night. Without worrying if someone is going to burn down our tunnel."

"How do you burn down tun-, you know what? Never mind." Naruto looked ahead. "There are a bunch of small islands up ahead. With luck there won't be anyone living there."

"Hmm, that could take care of some problems." The Toad boss looked ahead of Naruto and grinned. "But what about food?"

"What do you guys eat?" Seeing their questioning looks Naruto sighed. "No, wait! Stupid question. What I wanna know is: Do you eat anything besides giant maggots?"

Gamaken scratched his chin. "I am partial to fish."

"Traitor!" Mama toad shouted.

Papa toad sighed. "Well, in any case fishing may be our only option." He looked around and smiled. "Fortunately we have a fishing vessel here. Naruto, we are going to bring this to the islands and setup a base."

"Right, but what will I do?" Naruto asked.

"Go back to the city. That's what I'd do." He looked at the Toad boss. "But seeing as I'm not the leader, perhaps my advice isn't worth it."

Naruto put his head band back on. "Nah, we all make mistakes." He frowned. "But you better find a way back there. Every minute we're stuck here, is another minute we don't get there in time."

"I'm sure Konoha will be fine, young man," Mama toad suggested. She smiled. "After all, what could possibly go wrong? You've been away from the village for two years once." Naruto nodded. She continued. "Another few hours won't kill it."

Naruto reluctantly nodded. Papa toad and Mama toad smiled. The three giant toads in the background grumbled about having to push the ship.

* * *

"So you're supposed to be a Ninja?"

"Yes."

"While wearing orange."

"Yes." Naruto didn't see what the big deal was. "I like orange!" The man gave a strange look.

"While carrying a giant scroll on your back."

Naruto thought about it. He shrugged. "I store my stuff in here."

The man questioning the blond scowled. "Okay. I'm lost on what character you're supposed to be. Maybe it's some anime I've never heard of."

"What's anime?" Naruto asked.

The tall, blond haired arcade waiter sighed. "Never mind, just get in before the afternoon rush. Trust me, you don't wanna be here when Usagi and her friends arrive."

"Er, thanks, I guess." Naruto looked the man up and down. He put out his hand. "The name's Uzumaki Naruto."

The man looked at Naruto, smiled, and held out his own hand. "People call me Motoki."

"That your name?"

He shrugged and told Naruto to wait near the counter. The boy did as was instructed and waited for the waiter to serve him. The Ninja ordered ramen, a drink, and some crackers. He was surprised the crackers were free, and even more surprised when the bill came at the end of the day.

What's wrong, kid?" Motoki asked. He looked at the boy's bill. "This isn't a lot of cash. If you know what I mean."

Naruto didn't know what he meant. "Er, sure." He started to sweat. This wasn't cool. He didn't understand the money system. He had come into this arcade since it looked interesting. A lot of kids his own age were coming here, so it seemed like a good place to get information.

When he found out that almost every person in this arcade was more interested in watching some box with animation, instead of talking, he decided to have a conversation with the only person in the arcade that didn't seem to be interested in the games. Namely Motoki, the arcade waiter. The problem with Motoki was you couldn't talk to him unless you bought something. Naruto understood that what he was paying for wasn't a lot but he didn't have any money at all.

Then an idea struck him. "Oh, yeah I gotta go to the washroom for a bit." He left the counter and headed to washroom. Once inside he looked around and found it empty. Satisfied he made a Kage Bunshin, Henged it into money he saw earlier, and walked out of there carrying a wad of bills.

Seeing the waiter he smiled and put the wad of bills on his hand. "Holy shit, this is way too much. I don't even have enough change to-"

"Keep it." Naruto smiled. "You've given me enough info." He did. Motoki had told Naruto all he knew about Juuban, the place he was stuck in. The best places to eat, the best places to drink, the best places to relax, and where all the important buildings were.

Naruto wrote them down in a notepad the waiter had provided him with, something that Naruto was grateful for. "Well, if you ever need anything. Just let me know. I'm always here!" The man said this cheerfully, while looking at the wad of bills on his hands.

Internally Naruto sighed, thinking how long those bills would last before they turned into smoke.

"Excuse me, can you please move out of the way," said a voice near the front door."You're blocking the entrance!"

Naruto looked down. He blinked once. "Er, sorry chibi."

"Don't call me that!"

Naruto frowned. "Well, it's not like I know your name."

"My name is Chibi-usa, and I refuse to be called chibi!"

Naruto blinked. "You're name is Chibi-usa, and you refuse to be called chibi...that doesn't make any sense." He deadpanned. Then seeing the angry look the little pinkette was giving him he decided to back out a bit. "Sorry, er, Chibi-Usa, I'll get outta your way."

Naruto got out of the girl's way and was promptly tripped. He caught himself before he fell to the floor. "What the-"On the ground was a grinning floating black ball. He blinked "What is that?"

"That's Luna P," the girl said, smirking. "Don't mess with her, or she'll make you pay, you big meanie!"

Naruto blinked. "Okay. I'm going to go out now. Er, it was nice meeting you."

"Chibi-Usa," the girl said firmly. "And don't you forget it."

"I'll probably remember the Chibi part," Naruto said, grinning. "Later, shrimp!" He got up, and ran out of the arcade before the girl could say anymore. A minute later an angry waiter ran to the same spot, screaming "Did anyone see a blond haired, blue eyed..." Which promptly got him funny looks since the tall man was describing his very own looks.

As Naruto ran down the rainy streets he looked around in wonder. He had never seen so many buildings before. So many people either. Nor had he seen so many flashing lights. The place was beautiful in the rain, so much more artistic as the clouds gathered. Sure there was pollution wherever he went, he had a hard time breathing with some of the fumes, but over all the place was okay.

He went to stores, bakeries, supply places, clinics, schools, and hospitals. He mapped out everything he needed to map out for his plan, one that he still hadn't figured out yet. He also checked out the news. This city was protected by a group of five girls called the Sailor Senshi. They battled evil invaders, aliens, and demons. The police were content to let them handle the monsters and Naruto was impressed by their looks.

He had never seen skirts so short before.

With his Henged money he bought copies after copies of Sailor Senshi posters, trying to make a decision which one of them had the better fuku. He was partial to Sailor Mars, since the red uniform and black hair suited her well, but had to admit that Mercury filled out pretty nice. It sort of reminded him of a more assertive Hyuga Hinata.

"Kid, are ya gonna buy that paper?" The vendor didn't look happy. "Drop it, or pay for it. It's up to you."

Naruto looked at the full poster of all the Senshi and made a decision. "Nah, I'll pay. give me two copies."

Once he got what he needed, he went to the back of an alley, took off the giant scroll on his back and used the sealing compartments to store them. A couple times the alley cats gave him strange looks but that was okay. It wasn't like cats in this world could talk. At least from what he learned about them from talking to Motoki. In fact this planet didn't have summons in general.

It was like the entire world was composed of civilians. They used technology over anything magical/spiritual, and their science seemed to be based on the principles of physics, instead of more obscure branches such tantra, chakra, chi, and other factoids of spiritual/internal energy. Over all, Naruto felt kind of alienated here. But that was okay. He would adapt. He had too. He needed to get back to Konoha as soon as possible.

As Naruto left the alley. He heard a scream. He turned around to see the the pink haired girl from earlier run down the street with a purple ballerina, with cat like buns , chasing after her. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. 'You've gotta be kidding me.'

Spotting Naruto the pink haired little girl got teary eyed and yelled. "Save me Oni-chan!"

* * *

Cooan, a cat-like girl ,wearing a pink/purple ballerina dress, was pretty sure she could take the blond in front of her. "Hand over that brat behind you," she demanded. She smirked seeing the little girl shiver. "Or else."

The blond didn't look affected. Actually, he was looking her up and down with a blush. She found that annoying and also a bit rude. 'How dare that human check me out.' Still, he wasn't bad looking, if she did say so herself. That strange orange gi along with that suit didn't do much for his coloring, but he had a decent face, if a bit boyish.

"Well?" she asked. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Um, sort of..." The boy trailed off. He looked behind him, at the shaking pinkette, then looked back at her. He shrugged. "But I'm gonna have to say no. Unless your her mom."

"What?" How dare he think she was someone's mother? She was a ripe young lady at the prime of her life! Well, by Nemesis standards. Being a member of the Negamoon, Nemesis Family, meant that she would live to be a thousand...but still!

"No offense lady, I got nothin' against giving you back your kid, but if this one ain't yours." He looked helpless. "Can't say I can give the brat back to you." He looked back at the pinkette who smiled. He smiled back at her. Then looked back at her, Cooan, who couldn't help scowling.

"Will you not reconsider?" she asked. Sure, she could probably rip the boy's throat our right now, but she wanted to give him a chance. "After all, it might save your life?"

"Lady is that a threat?" he asked, sounding amused.

She flexed her claws. "Would you like it to be." She smiled.

To her surprise he smiled as well. He looked at her, looked back at the pinkette, then looked at a car. "Hold on, before we start fighting I wanna show you something."

"Oh?" Cooan asked. "What would that be?"

Humming to himself he walked towards a car and pulled his hand out of his pocket. He turned to her, gave her a grin, and shouted, "Rasengan!" In an instant the car was obliterated. She covered her eyes as metal broke apart and exploded around her. "What was that!" She shouted. "No..can't be..."

Where the car used to be was nothing but scrap. The boy turned back to her in the pouring rain and shrugged. "That's my weakest attack." He looked thoughtful. "I was gonna say my Kage Bunshin was, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count."

"Your weakest attack?" she asked. Cooan gulped. Her purple hair frizzled as a shiver went through her. Then realizing that her blue fire could produce similar result she sneered. "Well, watch this!"

She pointed a delicate finger toward a nearby car and shouted for a spell. A second later a stream of blue fire whipped out of the tip of her finger and impaled a nearby vehicle. With a few strokes the car tore apart, but didn't shatter the way the boy made his car shatter. She looked back at him and smirked, but noticed, to her annoyance, that he didn't seem to care.

"Oni-chan, do something!" The pink haired girl seemed to be getting braver. Cooan had to scowl. She was so cowed a few moments ago, but apparently the man she found was more scary than herself. What did a girl need to do to get a little respect? So what if she couldn't make the car scatter, fire whips were cool too. Well, not exactly cool, but one got the idea!

"Chibi let me think." He scratched his chin. Then seeing her dress he grinned. Cooan covered the top part that showed off her cleavage out of a reaction to lecherous males. "Don't worry, this one will be non-ethal, hehehe."

"What are you going to do?" Cooan asked. "Don't touch me! I'm warning you!"

"Now your gonna get it!" The pinkette shouted, walking behind the blond.

"No one messes with little kids and get's away with it," the boy said sagely. "Not when Uzumaki Naruto is around!"

'Uzumaki Naruto.' Cooan had a name. Well, she wouldn't be cowed by this blond, even if she was backing away from his wet lecherous face. She was a member of the Nemesis Royal family and she would be feared. Or loved. Either worked. Got about the same results too. Too bad civilians tended to run away screaming when they were around.

"Chibi, you might wanna cover your eyes." The pinkette did as instructed with a smile on her face. The blond faced her again and grinned. "Harem No Jutsu!"

Cooan coughed as smoke filled the area. She tried to see in front of her but could not. Then slowly she saw it, and tried not to bleed out of her nose. "Whaoo I better not show this to big sis." Big sis would kill everyone in sight if she did. "Damn! Snap out of it Cooan!" But she couldn't help it, she had to peek.

Because in front of her were a hundred cute boys hot, heavy, and naked. But not just that. Oh, not only that, but the boys, both a set of black haired girlymen, were on each other like roaches on a free meal.

"Get your mind out of the gutter! You have to find the - oh my, that's...wow...okay...really?" So distracted was the ballerina that she missed the blond warping himself and the pinkette out of there with a small pop.

* * *

"That was amazing!" The pinkette got off Naruto's shoulder, to his relief, and splashed onto a nearby puddle. It got his pants wet but he didn't care. The rain had soaked him already.

The girl's twin pigtails danced in the wind, and Naruto couldn't help but smile. She was so adorable. Reminded him a lot of a younger Konohamaru. "Did you see her face? She was blushing so deep!"

Naruto snorted. "No kidding, I was a foot from her when it happened. Perverts. Yeesh. Everywhere I go I get stuck with female pervs."

"But how did you know she was like that?" The pinkette looked interested. "What gave her away?"

Naruto deadpanned. "She kinda reminded me of a girl I knew back home. Only a little less violent."

"Less violent?" The pinkette looked confused. She smashed a car! How can the girl you know be less violent?"

"Oh boy, I don't wanna get into this topic." He pushed her to a nearby bench and pulled the umbrella over her." The girl smiled up at him, and he smiled back. He thought about what to say and decided that the simple approach would work. "Why was she chasing you?"

"Because she is an evil, slimy, diabolical-"

"Yes, yes. I've heard it all before. Nothing new, what I wanna know is what do you have that she wants?"

The girl looked down, and shook. Slowly she started to tear up. Within minutes Naruto knew what was going to go down and looked around desperately. 'C'mon sweets, candy, clowns, anything to make her laugh?' Seeing none he decided to accidently slip on the rain, making the girl look up . Slowly she snorted and smiled.

"Hehe." She blew her nose, and looked down at his muddy face. "You're kinda funny."

He gave her a crooked grin. "So I've been told. " He sat beside her and adjusted the umbrella. "So what got you so down?"

"Nemesis!"

"….Come again?"

"Oh, right. You wouldn't know about them." She tugged at her skirt, embarrassed. "They're from the future."

Naruto blinked. "….come again…again?"

The girl scowled. "Oh right, I should probably start from the beginning –No wait! I'm not supposed to tell you!"

Naruto snorted. "Chibi you aren't the first person to spill secrets to me without realizing it. Trust me, I'm good at keeping them. Just tell me what's wrong." He gave her a reassuring smile. Then panicked. "Wait! Damn it! I don't have time for this! I need to get back to Konoha!"

"Whats Konoha? Sounds like a tree."

"I think it is, in a way, but that's not the point." Naruto patted his wet gi. "I need to find a way back to my home."

"Couldn't you take a plane?"

"Too far."

"How?" she asked. "Pretty sure planes can take you anywhere."

"Can they take you to another planet?"

"…..oh, that far." The girl looked down, then brightened. "Wait! I know a way you can get back home if that's the case."

Naruto stopped, turned around, and gave her a confused look. "You're not pulling my leg are you?"

The girl frowned."Why would I? You helped me, It's only fair that a Princess like me help you!"

"…that was another secret you should have kept wasn't it?"

The little girl hit her head. "Curses! I mean, no, that was intentional!" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Fine, I'm a Princess! So what? The important thing is I know a way to get you back to your planet."

Naruto shrugged. What did he have to lose. He sat back on the park bench and listened to the little girl. "Okay, so I'm stuck in this place. According to every map I've checked out the Elemental Nations don't exist."

The girl nodded.

"So I came from a planet far, far away. I don't even know where it is. You know any way to get me back?" Naruto smiled sadly. "Well, do you?"

The girl's pink eyes brightened. "I don't, but Puu does!"

Naruto frowned. "Um, poo?"

The girl smacked him on the back. "Not pooo, Puuuuu, as in Sailor Pluto!"

Naruto snorted. "Oh please, there are only five Sailor Senshi, I might be new here, but even I know that."

"No, you don't! She exists. I can prove it!"

Naruto shrugged. "Alright, give it your best shot." He gestured for her to continue. "Not like I can make my situation any worse."

"Um, you may have made yourself a target since you helped me back there." The girl chuckled shyly, seeing his scowling face. "But you can take them! There are only five of them, and they only have a hundred or so minions."

Naruto didn't answer. He tried not to think about the kind of mess he was in. "Um, you wanted to show me your…poo?"

"Puuu! Get that right Naruto sighed. The girl continued. "Luna P, show Sailor Pluto!"

The floating black ball showed the image of a woman in her late twenties wearing a Sailor Uniform at least a decade too small for her. Naruto laughed at the sight and shook his head. "You gotta admit that's pretty weird. " Seeing the girl's confused look, he continued. "I mean, it looks strange on a pack of teenage girls, but this is ridiculous."

"I think she looks fashionable!"

"I think you need to get your pink head checked." Naruto leaned and bent down. He wanted to get a better look at the busty Sailor. She was tall, green haired, and tanned. She wore a black style fuku, and carried a scepter. "So how is she supposed to help me?"

"She controls the Time Gates!"

"…Um, Chibi, I'm in a new world, not in a different time."

"Oh, right." She looked embarrassed. "Well, she's over 10,000 years old. She knows everything about everything!"

'Now this interesting.' "So she knows how to get me back?" He looked at her hopefully.

The girl smiled. "Of course she does! All we need to do is save my future by defeating the army of Nemesis and she'll send you right back in a jiffy!"

Naruto's mouth felt dry. "And how long will that take?"

The girl looked thoughtful. Then looked up to him with her bubbly pink eyes. "Two to three hundred years." She picked at one of her pig tails. "Give or take a few decades."

* * *

"Chibi-Usa!" Usagi shouted. The blond ran down the street, knelt to the child's level, and crushed her half to death. "I was so worried about you! You weren't at the arcade! Are you okay?"

"She won't be if you keep that up," someone commented. Usagi looked up to see a teen roughly the same age as herself. He waved. "Hi, name's Uzumaki Naruto." He gave her a grin.

She smiled in response. Then seeing the pale face of her cousin, she dropped her with a shriek. "Chibi-Usa what happened to you!"

"I just said…never mind." Naruto shook his head. "I'm guessing you're dango ball head."

"My name is Tsukino Usagi!"

Naruto looked thoughtful. "Huh, the chibi and you share the same name. Weird."

"We're cousins, that isn't strange at all!"

Naruto frowned. "You also look exactly alike. " He looked down at the angry chibi. "In fact, she can be a mini-you." The blond's eyes brightened. "Ha! So that's why she's called Chibi-Usa!"

"No! No! No!" The pinkette kicked the blond boy. "I'm nothing like her! Oni-chan, don't compare me to this idiot!"

"Hey, I resent that!"

The pinkette turned to the bun-bun girl. "And what was your last math test score?"

"Er, I passed…in some countries."

The chibi sighed and gestured to her cousin. "See what I have to deal with."

Naruto did. In fact Usagi reminded him a lot of himself. Much to his ire. "It's nice to meet you Tsukino-san?"

The other teen flinched. "Gross, that's my mom's name." She put out her hand for him to shake. "Call me Usagi."

The Ninja seemed relieved. He looked to the pinkette, seeing if this was the right action, and noticing the little girl's fuming face, as it was directed to her cousin, decided to take the offered hand. He sort of liked getting the scrawny girl angry. She was so much like Konohamaru that it wasn't funny. Well, it was. Not that he would say it out load.

He gave her a firm shake. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, resident of Konoha." He paused, then shrugged. "My friends call me Naruto."

"It's nice to meet you Naruto." The blond looked him up and down. "But, if you don't mind me asking. What're you supposed to be?"

"A Ninja."

"Haha, no really."

"He said he's a Ninja, dango ball head!" The pinkette kicked her cousin, who, unlike Naruto, grabbed onto it and hopped on the other foot. "Stop being rude to new people."

"Says the girl who just broke her poor sister's kneecaps," Usagi mumbled through teary eyes.

Cough. Cough. The two girls looked away from each other. Their gaze went to the Ninja standing away from them. "I like family reunions and all. But, I've got a serious problem."

"Oh?" Usagi asked. "What would that be?"

"It's embarrassing. I don't really want to say, but I don't think I can put it off."

"Well, you got my cousin back for me." Usagi nodded to herself. "Helping you is the least I can do!"

"You might want to hear what he needs help with first," the pinkette corrected her. "Before you go pretend-Senshi."

"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm not a pretend-sensh-" She stopped anf covered her mouth. The Ninja and Future Princess looked at her strangely. "I mean, yes, I should stop pretending to be, er…what were you asking me again?"

Naruto looked at her blankly, tried to remember what some of the Sailor Senshi looked like, then shook his head. 'No time for this.'

He sighed and looked the girl dead in the eye. "I'm homeless."

Silence. Usagi processed this information. "Whaaat?"

"He doesn't have a home dango ball head!"

"I know that!" The girl yelled. She turned back to Naruto, looking at him sadly. "What I want to know is how?"

Naruto frowned. "I don't think that's any of your business." He shrugged. "Besides you said you would help me. It's the least you can do?"

Usagi seemed reluctant. She looked to the serious Naruto, then to the frowning Chibi-Usa and sighed. "But, but, what am I supposed to do?" She seemed regretful. "It's not like I can suddenly give you a home."

Naruto smiled. "You don't need too. I'm willing to pay rent."

"Really? Then why are you homeless?"

'Because my rent money will probably turn to smoke within minutes.' "Because I just got here." It wasn't a lie. "So I haven't scoped out any apartments or basements I can live in."

"Basements," Usagi said carefully. "You mean the finished kind?"

"No, he means the storing kind," the pinkette said, sarcastically. "What do you think he means? Of course he wants one loaded. Washrooms, kitchens, the works."

"Well, we have a washroom in our basement. If that helps."

"And a kitchen?" Naruto asked.

"Er, no, we don't have that." Usagi answered. She poked her forehead. "Oh, dolt is me! But we have a shower, and a separate door to leave if you need it."

'That could be useful.' "Deal!"

The girls looked at him in surprise. "Are you serious?" Chibi-Usa deadpanned. "This seems like an awful one too me." Her eyes brightened. "I know! How about Usagi lives in the basement, while you live in her room! I can make it happen with Luna P's Hypnosis-,"

Naruto coughed. "Chibi, didn't we just have a lecture on keeping secrets."

The pinkette looked embarrassed. "Oh, sorry." She smiled evilly at her cousin. "Saved dango ball. You've been saved."

"Riight." Her taller cousin didn't look convinced. Instead she took her umbrella and walked over to the smaller girl. With quick reflexes, that Naruto found surprising, she got her arm around the chibi and slung her over her shoulder, much to pinky's annoyance. "Well, I guess you'll follow me," she said cheerfully. "After all, I'm going to be your new landlord."

Naruto flinched. 'Somehow I get the feeling I've dug myself a new one.'

* * *

"You're telling me you were defeated by a Senshi? Rubeus asked, "Wearing a gi colored…orange?"

"What else could he be?" Cooan asked. She glared at the mirror while talking to the red haired man behind her. "There aren't any other superpowers in this timeline."

"What about Harry Potter?" a blue haired girl, wearing a marine blue leather suit, pointed out.

"That's just a novel," Rubeus deadpanned.

"Can we get back to the topic?" A tall, busty, green haired sister, wearing a leather suit that cut off, at her cleavage, exclaimed. "I'd like to get back to work."

"Which is what? Brooding in your room?" Another sister walked out from the shadows, this one wearing a red skirt, and a golden blouse that also cut off at her cleavage. Unlike the other sisters her hair was colored brown.

A normal color. Something that got her odd looks from the rest of her family.

"I'll have you know, I don't brood. I don't have the time."

"Relax Petz," Cooan said, removing her makeup kit with a flick of her hand. "We're not here to talk about your one sided romance with-"

"Ladies, seriously? Do have to do this now?" Rubeus asked. He ran a hand through his red hair and looked at the summoned TV screen. "Can we get through one meeting without escalating to mindless bickering?" Seeing the confused looks on the sister's faces, he continued. "I am sure the Sailor Senshi are hard at work trying to counter our plans as we speak."

That got blank stares from the sisters. "Fine, I suppose a group of teenage girls might have better uses for their time, then trying to defend their world against Nemesis," he said sarcastically.

"Lighten up Rubeus," the blue haired girl, Berthier, answered. "We have plenty of time to capture the silver moon crystal."

"We would if Petz wouldn't stop sulking so much," the brown haired sister, Calaveras, interjected. "What would your precious Prince Sapphir-"

Rubeus was getting fed up. "That's enough, ladies!" He roared. "Silence, this instant!" The Dark Hall went silent. Nothing moved, nothing made a sound. Crimson Rubeus tolerated the bickering of these Four Sisters to a point. But when it interfered with the mission. He got impatient, angry, and dangerous.

He looked at the purple haired ballerina. "Now, Cooan."

"Yes!" the catgirl yelped.

"What defeated you?" he asked again.

"Um, it's hard to say, sir." She gulped seeing his eyes narrow. "Honestly, I don't know. A Senshi is my best guess. But he didn't transform or anything. He just used this big spinning ball in his hand to turn a car to dust."

"Dust?" Rubeus raised an eyebrow. "How can wind do that?"

"I don't know, sir." She made a helpless gesture with her hands. "The wind in his hand, it spun so fast, so quick. He just put in on the car and whoosh, it all scattered."

"Interesting." Rubeus turned to the rest of the sisters. "Well, any ideas?"

"Sounds like a Senshi." Calaveras shrugged. "Without the skirt.

"Perhaps it is a warrior of the Silver Moon Kingdom we don't know about?" Berthier added.

Petz shook her head. "The only other warrior that isn't a Senshi in this timeline is that fop Tuxedo Kamen.

Cooan cringed at this. She had been defeated by that joker. "Um, he's stronger than he looks. Those roses hurt."

Rubeus palmed his face. "Do we have to go over this, again?"

"Go over what?" Cooan asked, challenge back in her voice. "I'm telling you he's strong!"

"The guy who blew up the car with air pressure…or the guy who throws roses?" Berthier asked sweetly.

"Now you're just trying to get me mad!"

"That's what sisters do." Calaveras added. "Speaking of which, Petz-"

Rubeus sighed. "Why do I even bother. Every meeting. Every single meeting I organize ends up like this." He turned to a crystal mirror that showed the orange clad man destroying a car. "Well, he isn't a Senshi."

"No, I guess not," Cooan said bitterly. "But he has neat tricks!" The video showed the boy's next move. Which made the girls in the Hall blush and Rubeus gag. He rubbed his eyes together and looked at Cooan carefully. "Please tell me you girls aren't into that."

"There is nothing wrong with boy on boy love!" Berthier interjected. "It's sweet and wholesome."

Rubeus sighed. "I was wondering about those books I found in your room. Please, don't tell me they contain…" he trailed off. "No, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Please, just don't."

"Don't worry Rubeus, you are much more attractive than those guys," Cooan said.

"Oh?" he asked, pride showing.

Berthier nodded. "Especially when we add you, Prince Diamond, and Prince Sapphire in the same panel, the-"

Rubeus teleported out of the hall.

Berthier giggled and looked at Cooan, who hadn't stopped blushing since they played her defeat. "Well, I have to say. I'm very interested in this one."

"You mean how he can make it rain men?" Calaveras sneered, while laughing. "What girl wouldn't be?"

"Humpf," Petz, the eldest sister, said." I think it's disgusting.

"You know, the shorter black haired one with the narrow eyes kinda looks like Prince Saphir-"

Petz blushed and teleported out of the room. Two out of three sisters looked at her funny, then resumed their conversation. "So what do we do about this?" Calaveras asked.

"What can we do?" Cooan asked. "Rubeus makes the plans."

"Yes, but I expect he'd want us to eliminate him," Calaveras interjected. She was perfectly aware how vague their commander could be. "Any ideas?"

"If I did, I wouldn't share them with you," Berthier, the blue head, pointed out. "You'd just ruin them, with your brashness."

"Sometimes, the direct approach works," Cooan added.

"Sometimes it gets you killed," Berthier replied dryly.

"You know who else needs to be killed, Berthier?" the younger sister asked fiercely, her eyes narrowing.

"Oh, please Cooan," the blunette said sweetly. "You couldn't kill a mouse."

"I don't need to, you are much more accessible."

And so another meeting degenerated into petty squabbles of sibling rivalry. Too bad none of their parents were here to see them. They would have been impressed by their daughters' wits. Even if it were being used in their full capacity to strike a blow at their own allies, much less their flesh and blood.

Little wonder Nemesis still hadn't conquered the future yet.

* * *

"You know it's kinda suspicious that your family decided to go on a trip, just when I'm coming in to meet them," Naruto said. Still, he couldn't stop smiling at Chibi-Usa's genius. Even if Usagi wouldn't stop scowling. "Does this have anything to do with that hypnosis trick you were telling me about?"

"What hypnosis trick?" she asked sweetly, ignoring the fuming Usagi. "I've no idea what you're talking about, Oni-chan."

Usagi lost it. She grabbed the little girl and turned her upside down. "What did I tell you about brain washing my family?" An impressive killing intent built up around her. "I specifically asked that you NOT do that again."

"This has happened before?" Naruto scowled. "You shouldn't do that to your family."

"To be fair, they're not my family," she huffed, while hanging upside down. "Like I'm related to this idiot."

Usagi's eyebrow twitched. "You ungrateful little brat. If you didn't have anywhere to go I'd.." And Naruto tuned out the rest of her rant, settling for looking around the basement.

The place was a total mess. Books, tools, dust, fabrics, and the like littered every square inch of the place. He tried to find some place that wasn't dirty, and failed. Sighing he tried to find a window and found none. 'I need an exit.'

"What's wrong, oni-chan?" Chibi-Usa asked. "Don't you like it?" Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"No, it's great. Bigger than my old place." Which was true, but also sad. Back home he was broke, here he was poorer still. "But I'll have to clean the place up. I'm not alone."

"No guests!" Usagi cried. "One person only!" She seemed to be holding a grudge against the pinkette. Naruto figured he would too, if someone brainwashed his friends.

"Don't worry, it's just an old man, a small guy." He frowned. "You won't even notice him." Though a part of him wondered how he was going to hide a toad the size of a puppy, sporting a beard, a cane, and a cape. Still, if the Sailor Senshi managed to appear somewhat normal around here, he could too.

"See, then it's fine, Usagi-baka!" the future princess exclaimed. "Now, take me to the park!"

"Why didn't you go on your way here?" Usagi asked. "I even asked you if you wanted to go."

She stuck out her tongue. "Who wants to go with you, meatball brain!"

"I'm not the only one with meatballs on my head," Usagi replied, with a sneer. "At least mine aren't pink."

"What's wrong with pink?"

"Makes you look like you got cotton candy stuck to your scalp." She promptly stepped out of the way as the shrimp tried to tackle her. "I was kidding! Stop that!"

The angry pinkette glowered. "Don't make fun of me!"

"That's not fair!" Usagi cried, tears forming in her eyes. "How come you get to make fun of me?"

Naruto coughed. "Um, girls. Do you mind if I step out for a bit? Check out the neighborhood?" Seeing that the two were more focused on each other to pay any attention to him, Naruto decided to leave them be.

He went up the stairs, past the kitchen, to the living room, and out the door. The clouds earlier were gone, and the neighborhood seemed to be at peace. He sniffed the fresh air and raised his arms to the sun. The boy was in such a good mood that he waved to a mailman riding a bike, who waved back at him, which distracted him for a brief second, promptly getting him crashed onto a fire hydrant. Shaking his head Naruto walked past the downed man and down the street.

The neighborhood Usagi lived in seemed pretty high class. Most of the citizens here lived in apartment buildings. True, Usagi's home wasn't large, not nearly as large as some of the middle class houses of Konoha, but by Japanese standards, it was pretty big. At least from his point of view. Honestly, he hadn't been here long enough to make a good assessment.

Still, he knew that he needed more information. That's why he continued to walk down the street, looking, searching, scoping, for anything that might be helpful. Anything that he could use to get back home. His journey wasn't going too well, though he did meet a few attractive ladies along the way, so he figured that he needed to take a rest somewhere.

And that was when he arrived at the Hirakawa Shrine. "Can I help you?" a strong, feminine voice asked.

The blond turned around. "Got any interdimensional transportation jutsu?"

"Excuse me?" the female asked

"Never mind," he mumbled. He stopped to take a better look at the woman. Well, woman was pushing it, since she was clearly a girl. She couldn't have been older than him. In fact, like Usagi, she seemed younger. Fourteen to fifteen years of age. She had long black hair, pale skin, purple eyes, and wore a white Miko kimono.

"Again," she said testily. "May I help you?" Her eyes told him that he needed to have a good answer.

"Sorry," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I've had a long day, and was wondering if I could take a rest here."

The girl nodded and pointed to a bench. "There. You can sit there." She turned back to him, frowned, and asked, "What are you supposed to be?"

"A Ninja." It seemed like no one believed him. If they thought he was something else, he might be able to hide his identity.

The girl frowned. "From which anime?"

"Um, the one with the Ninja?"

"That describes practically any of them at any given time," she said, maintaining her scow. "Well, it's none of my business. Just stay there and don't bother me."

She turned back to her work. Naruto turned to the park bench. He took a few steps, got there, and sat down. He looked around, searching for any kind of attack. This place felt strange. Like it was meant to expel something. He had felt signs of weak barriers earlier. It was like the barrier was trying to repel something inside of him. The Kyubi perhaps, but he paid it no mind. He was currently in Sage Mode, so the natural Chakra would have masked the Kyubi's Chakra.

After a minute the raven haired girl walked up to him. "May I ask you a question?" She looked like she was demanding one instead. Before Naruto could respond she continued. "Why do your eyes look like that?"

He blinked. He pointed to his frog like eyes. "You mean like a toad's?"

"I was going to say Youma but yes, a toad." She held her broom protectively in front of her. "Are you some kind of demon?"

Naruto sighed. "I get that a lot." He looked down, then looked up. "Do I look like a demon?"

"That's the tricky part about demons," the raven haired girl replied. "They can take human form."

"And you've got experience dealin' with'em?" Naruto raised one eyebrow. "I kinda find that hard to believe."

She frowned. "I'm a Miko." She closed her eyes and Naruto heard the caw of crows or ravens in the distance. For a moment nothing happened, but slowly two dark dots started to appear in the sky. Then the dots turned to the shape of birds, and the birds took the form of black crows. The two crows landed on each of the Miko's shoulders. "These are my familiars." She turned to him. "They help me detect Youma."

"Lady, I'm not a Youma," Naruto said, scowling. "I'm just here to take a rest. I'll be outta your hair in a minute" He paused. "Unless you wanna kick me out now."

"I would, but that might be what you want me to do," she admitted. "I won't be deceived by a Youma."

"For the last time –you know what? Never mind." He stood up, picked up the giant scroll he dropped while sitting down, and put it over his shoulder. He turned his back to her and looked at her with annoyance. "I'm going now! You know I met a lot of people in Tokyo, and not one of them called me a demon. Heck, no one commented on my eyes, but you…" He trailed off, trying to find words to express his disappointment. "You come up to me, while I'm dead tired, and tell me I'm up to no good!"

"Hold on," the girl defended. "I did no such thing. All I asked of you was a simple question."

"A pretty personal one at that, lady," Nartuo replied. "Not everyone likes being called demon, you know. I got a bad history with that word."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Then you're a demon."

"Didn't you hear me?" He looked annoyed. "I said I got a bad history, not that I am one." He sighed and walked away from her. "And if you have a problem with that, then don't worry. I ain't comin' back here, ever again."

"Wait!" she called. He turned around to find a flying kanji seal tape onto his face. "Purify!"

Naruto felt nothing. "Lady…you have problems." He ripped off the scrowl, looked at the seals, then back to her. "This is the worst sealing tag I've seen in my life!"

"What?" she called. She sounded affronted. "This is the best Juuban has to offer. There is no better in all of Tokyo even!"

Naruto didn't answer. He pulled his giant scroll out of his back, put it down, then unrolled it. The girl stepped back to look at the seals, then frowned. "What are you?"

"Well, I'm a Ninja, but I sort of double as a part-time Seal Master Apprentice," he said, He scratched his chin. "Though I'll admit the only thing I can do is some minor sealing and unsealing, but that's not bad, if I do say so myself."

"What do you mean minor sealing?" she asked. Now she looked curious. "Show me!"

He grinned. "Watch and learn, lady. Watch and learn." He put his hand to a portion of the scroll and a puff of smoke came out. "See!"

She stared at it, rubbed her eyes, then stared at it some more. Her purple eyes met his mirthful blue ones. The Miko slowly asked, "That…wasn't real." She refused to believe it. "You couldn't have just..unsealed a stack of porn. Who would use such a precious art for something so revolting."

"Hah believe it's rea –wait? Porn?" He looked down. In front of him was a stack of Boobs of the Elemental Nations, Volume 13. He'd forgotten the assortment of things Jiraiya kept in his giant sealing scroll. Naruto felt killing intent rise from the girl in front of him. "Um, that's not mine."

"Then why is it in your scroll?" she asked slowly. Her eyes darkened and the crows beside her started to caw. They looked to be ready to peck his eyes out. "Can you answer me that?"

"It was my old teacher's scroll, honest!" he said nervously. "Honest, I ain't a perv-,"

"Get him Phobos!" The crow on her left shoulder attacked. Naruto decided to run. Sure he could probably tear the thing apart with one hand, but it was his fault for sullying a pure maiden's eyes with his, or his teacher's porn. "Go for the eyes!"

"Hey, that's not nice!" He rolled up his scroll. A second crow started flapping next to his face, trying to peck at his eyeballs. "Lady, you're sick. I'm outta here!"

He turned around, and bolted. With two angry birds at his heel. "And never come back here again, do you hear me?" the girl called out. "Or my name isn't Hino Rei!"

* * *

Naruto ran down the streets of Juuban, with the birds still following. "Don't these things get tired?" Apparantly they didn't. He'd used his teleportation jutsu more than once to escape them, but somehow they always managed to find where he landed. Deciding to save energy he just used good old fashioned foot power to keep them at a minor distance.

A couple of kids tried to help him by throwing rocks at the crows, but it only managed to hit him in the face. "Looks like I'll need to get into a building," he mumbled. "Huh, a library?" He ran down a set of stairs, jumped over a fence that bordered the library, threw something at the crows, then jumped through the window.

"Take that you lousy pigeons!" The crows cawed and pecked at the window. Naruto knew he'd better get out of there before they shattered the glass. He didn't have money to pay for window repairs. Slowing down as he entered the hallway, he got a chance to really look at the place. Unlike the library back home it wasn't filled to the brim with old and cluttered scrolls/books, but had strange devices attached to power outlets.

"May I help you?" Someone asked. Naruto turned around. Behind him was a tall lady in a purple business suit, gold earrings, well done makeup, and heels. She smiled and gestured for him to continue, "I noticed you came in through the window. Might I inquire why you are so urgent? Is it an emergency?" she asked the last part cryptically.

Naruto looked down. He felt embarrassed for being caught like that. A part of him wanted to tell her about the crazy birds the insane Miko had sent after him, but the smaller, albeit rational, part told him to keep his mouth shut. "Um, I really need to find a book?" He tried to sound serious, but the frown on the woman's face told him just how convincing he sounded. He sighed. "I was trying to outrun something."

"Ahh," she said. She nodded once, and smiled. "We've got quite a few people who are in the same situation. Most of them tend to be in elementary school. There is a playground nearby. From time to time children come in here trying to escape their would- be- tormenters." She sighed. "Children today, they can be so cruel to one another."

"You're telling me, some girl tried to peck my eyes out," he said. Then, seeing the blank look on the Librarian's face, he corrected himself. "With a bird."

"With a bird?" she asked slowly.

"It sounded better in my head," he admitted. He looked embarresed and coughed into his fist. "Well, um, mind if I look around?"

"Not at all," she said, still looking at him suspiciously. "Do you have a library card?"

Naruto felt sweat form on his forehead. "Of course I do. What kind of idiot comes to a library without one?"

She looked at him with narrowed eyes, then nodded. "I only ask because occasionally we get people who try to steal books." She looked at the giant scroll on his back. "But I have a feeling you don't have many places to keep books."

Naruto smiled. He wasn't going to tell her he could probably seal the whole library in the scroll on his back. "Nope, not a thing. Just a large wad of paper on my back."

She nodded, then showed him around the library. During his walk he saw a girl who looked suspiciously like Hinata. Well, Hinata, before she grew her hair out. She had short blue hair, with small blue earrings on each ear. Her face was pale, her eyes blue, and she wore what looked like a school uniform. Naruto couldn't help noticing that it resembled the uniform Usagi kept in her closet. He had stumbled upon her uniform while Usagi put his orange gi away.

Making a quick decision he decided to sit down next to her when the librarian finished her tour. The problem was he didn't know how to approach her. He didn't know much about girls, but he did know that you didn't just come up to one and introduce yourself for no reason. He'd seen Jiraiya get slapped on more than one occasion doing just that. Then again Jiraiya had secretly eyed their cleavage, rubbed their bum, or touched them in some inappropriate way before making his introduction.

Fortunately, Naruto didn't need to introduce himself because the librarian did it for him. "Oh, and if you have any questions, you can always ask Mizuno-san. She used to work here." The taller woman gestured to the girl reading a book. For her part the blunette looked up. "If that is okay with you?"

Ami looked reluctant, but she nodded anyway. "That's alright. I'm almost done here." She gestured to her books. "I'm getting ahead on my next test."

Naruto whistled. "Looks like a hard test, are they really going to ask you all of that?" He eyed a few math textbooks with apprehension. He had a natural fear of math.

The girl looked at him in surprise. "Oh, no, no, no, this is just spare reading." Then realizing what she said, she turned away, looking embarrassed. "I find it interesting."

Naruto didn't get why she found telling him her hobbies so embarrassing. She certainly had a better hobby then him (Ramen), Jiraya (Porn,) or Sai (Penis). "Meh, I like Ramen. You ain't the only one with strange hobbies."

"My hobbies aren't strange," she said softly. Her voice didn't rise, but Naruto could tell he had insulted her. "It's perfectly natural to read up on Quantum Physics. It's a very hot topic right now. I'm not the only one reading this –stop looking at me like that, I mean it."

Naruto blinked. "Sure, Mizuno-san. Whatever you say." He took a seat beside her and picked up the nearest book. "Electrons around a nucleus travel in atomic orbitals." He paused to let this sink in. "The orbitals are s, p, d…and I'm lost." He put the book down. "No offence, but I don't think most kids your age learn this kinda thing."

She frowned. "Well, it's a bit advanced, but it's a lot easier than it looks."

"Is it really?"

"Well, perhaps I'm exaggerating a little," she finished reluctantly. Sighing she closed her book. "What do you want?"

Naruto squinted. "A way to travel through time and space, to a place far, far away. To a lost planet that no one on this planet knows about"

She looked startled. "No! I have no information on the Silver Moon Kingdom!"

"….Excuse me? Siliver what now?"

The girl calmed down and took a deep breath. Her cheeks turned red and she stared at him meekly. "Sorry about that. I must have misinterpreted what you said. Please, do go on."

Naruto smiled. "Nah, don't need to. I was just kidding. Actually, I wanted to ask you if there are any books here about Dimension Travel."

Her face started to pale. "And why would I know anything about Dimension Travel?" She looked at him suspiciously. Slowly her hands reached down to her skirt.

"Um, no reason," Naruto said, a sweat drop forming on the corner of his forehead. "But the lady said I could ask you if I need help."

The girl slowly pulled her right hand away from her skirt. Naruto noticed her meek blue eyes turned somewhat harsh when she mentioned Dimension Travel. From the information he and his clones had gathered. Such a thing did not exist in this world. Summoning and un-Summoning was just fantasy here, and the closest thing to teleportation this world had ever seen was when the Sailor Senshi teleported to where Youma did battle.

"I see," the girl said softly. She took another deep breath and looked at him carefully. Naruto felt like he was being analyzed. "And what do you want to know about Dimension Travel?"

Naruto looked at her in surprise. "There are actual books on Dimension Travel?"

"No," she said neutrally. "But I know a few theories." She gestured vaguely at the quantum physics books around her. "I might be able to help." She paused, again analyzing him. "If your question isn't too…" She trailed off.

"Riiigghhtt," Naruto said. "Well, what I want to know is, has more than one person ever travelled from another dimension to this place?" His eyes narrowed. "You know, kinda like what the Senshi do."

The blunette was again reaching down for something in her skirt, but this time she actually pulled it out. She held it close to her, and looked at him suspiciously. "What do you know about the Sailor Senshi?"

Naruto shrugged. "I know that they are the defenders of Love and Justice." Then smirked. "And hot!"

The girl blushed. "Whhahatt!"

He continued, grinning. "That Mars! She's got a nice set of legs, all nice and long. Love her heels!" He continued to gaze at her reddening face. "Jupiter? Well, what can I say? I love big girls."

"That's disgusting!" she accused. "I'll have you know Jupiter is perfectly normal. And she is sensitive about her height."

Naruto blinked. "Sounds like you know the Senshi." He smiled. "Oh, I get it! You're a fan!"

The girl froze. "Yes. That's exactly what I am." She still kept the blue pen near her, though she seemed reluctant to use it. Then, after a small pause, she asked, "What about the others…out of academic curiosity of course."

Naruto looked thoughtful. He leaned back on the chair, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the Sailor Senshi poster. With a quick flick of his wrist he unrolled it and spread it out on the table. Ami started to blush, but Naruto paid no attention. "Next on the list is this one." He pointed to a girl in an orange Sailor Senshi fuku, with blond hair. "What can I say about Venus? She's got nice legs like Mars, a cheerful smile, and a fine body." He looked up to Ami. "Don't you agree?"

The girl blushed and looked at her skirt. "Um, I wouldn't know. I've never looked at them that way." Naruto leaned in to get a better look at her, and the blunette turned her face away. "Anyway, continue!"

Naruto suspected she was only doing this to distract him from her embarrassment, but he complied. Shrugging, he continued. "Well, honestly? I kinda feel nothing for Moon. Something about her annoys me…but Mercury!" He paused. Standing up to show her the Blue Sailor Senshi posing on the poster. With her bum sticking out onto the air.

Ami's face was so red, Naruto could see steam coming out of her ears. "Mercury has the best rear! It's the right shape, the right texture, and the way the blue hair just brings out that whole 'I'm innocent' theme. Ahh, man what can I say? I'm just a sucker for girls like that!" Ami's breathing quickened and she looked like she was going to faint.

"Mizuno-san, are you okay?"

"YES!" she said. She stood up, looked at him in sheer embarrassment, then quickly turned around. "I-I..have t-to go." She tripped on a chair, and Naruto helped her up. She turned back to him again, with fear in her eyes. "It-it was nice meeting you." She bowed, blushed, and bolted out of the library like her life depended on it.

As Naruto stood there looking puzzled, the lady from earlier walked beside him and admitted, "You know, this is the first time Ami ran in the library. She's well aware of the rules." She looked at him with disapproval. "What exactly did you ask her?"

Naruto shrugged. "Nothing, just telling her about my favorite Senshi." He showed her his poster. "Don't you just love Mercury she…"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Please let me know what you think of this story. It's nearly 13,000 words so it took me a while to write this. Is it good? Bad? You hate it? Like it? Sorry about any mistakes. I have no beta. Anyone willing to** type up** parts of this fic is welcome to send me a PM on my profile with their email attached. I don't reject ANYONE. I'll send my raws in PDF. I can update much faster this way. I have a temporary eye problem so typing on PC is going to be a problem for the next month or so.


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